


Choose Your Own Adventure: Eve's Choices

by allsorrowsborne



Category: Killing Eve (TV 2018)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Choices, Choose Your Own Adventure, F/F, Fate, Kissing, Light Angst, Masturbation, Rough Sex, Scars, Soft sex, Voyeurism, Walking away, jumping from bridge, post 3x08
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:21:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 6,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26268673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allsorrowsborne/pseuds/allsorrowsborne
Summary: An interactive “choose your own adventure” story that starts at the season 3 bridge scene. Read along and click on links to choose what Eve does next.  Fifteen possible pathways. No major character death!For Killing Eve Week 2020. Day 4. Canon Divergence
Relationships: Eve Polastri/Villanelle | Oksana Astankova
Comments: 66
Kudos: 128
Collections: Killing Eve Week 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing a choose your own adventure story. Let me know if you like it! 
> 
> Hint: The more that Eve hesitates the longer the story

Eve leans against the railings, catching her breath. She doesn’t know how long she ran for, away from Carolyn, away from Paul. She does know that Villanelle was right behind her. Eve didn’t stop until she was ready. She’s ready now. A suspension bridge over the Thames.

The city lights bounce off the water. A tour boat goes by. The view is familiar. Nothing else.

Eve speaks. Truths fall like dominos, blunt and raw. Once she starts, it’s hard to stop. The killing. The romance. The future, the future…

“What happened to us?” It’s not a question that needs to be answered. Eve understands that she is complicit. She knows what it means to use the word “us.” The pretense is over. Eve feels horrific. She feels relief. At some point, she laughs. ~~~~

This is what she wanted: Villanelle to call up the monster inside her. This is what she needs: Villanelle to help make it stop. Villanelle says that she can.

“Stand up straight and look at me.”

Villanelle sounds older, somehow. A new type of confidence that is not only ego, that’s rooted in more than her power to hurt. Eve likes it. She lets it direct her. She stands up straight and waits for the kiss. It doesn’t come.

“Now turn around and face the other way.”

“What?”

“Have you turned? I can’t see you.”

Eve turns. The weight of Villanelle’s shoulders against her. The tilt of her head, warm and strong.

“Now what?”

“Now we walk. And we never look back.” Eve protests. Villanelle interrupts.

“Don’t turn. Just walk.”

What does Eve do?

[ _Walks away and doesn’t turn back_ ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26268673/chapters/63947182)

[ _Walks away, but turns back_ ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26268673/chapters/63947293)

[ _Grabs Villanelle to stop her from leaving_ ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26268673/chapters/63947467)


	2. Chapter 2

Eve found it difficult to rebuild her life. She’d lost her husband, her job, her house. But slowly and steadily, the pieces fell into place. Now she has a different job that keeps her busy. She has a new apartment that feels like home. She dated a woman for a couple of months. It was good while it lasted. She liked the sex and the companionship. She loved the feeling of making her come. But she always felt like something was missing, or more precisely that someone was missing. _I’m not with them when I’m with them_. Eve now knows what Villanelle meant. So Eve is alone and it’s okay. Life is good, if somewhat boring. This is the gift that Villanelle gave her. Normal. Safe. It’s not as seductive as the others – the clothes, the lipstick – but it’s definitely useful and Eve makes use of what Villanelle gives. She thinks of her constantly. That hasn’t changed. What she’s doing, who she’s with. Eve knows that Villanelle thinks of her. Sometimes those thoughts brush up against her, tender and tempting, especially at night. _I masturbate about you_. Eve sighs at the memory. _I masturbate about you too_. Every night. Eve falls asleep longing to see her. At least her dreams do not disappoint.

It’s almost been a year since Eve saw her, but the memories burn like fire in autumn, always pulling her to the past. She doesn’t think about the future. The future is empty without Villanelle. It’s okay. Eve lives day to day. On one of those days she returns from work and finds flowers on her doorstep, a note slipped between the stems. Eve knows the handwriting as soon as she looks. _Happy birthday Eve. Meet me on Sunday for one more dance?_

What does Eve do?

[ _Throws the invitation away_ ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26268673/chapters/63947194)

[ _Keeps the invitation as a memento but doesn’t meet Villanelle_ ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26268673/chapters/63947248)

[ _Meets Villanelle at the dance_ ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26268673/chapters/63947257)


	3. Chapter 3

It’s hard to resist, but Eve knows that she cannot see her. She doesn’t trust what she would do. She’s worked hard to build her new kind of normal. Boring but safe. She screws up the card and tosses it into the bin outside, along with the flowers. That night, she lies awake, restless with doubt and longing. She remembers before, rummaging through a dumpster for a bakery box that served as a clue. By morning time, her resolve has broken, and she runs outside to go through the bins, just so she can touch them again, run her fingers over ink, the words created by Villanelle’s hand. She’s too late. The bin collectors came early morning and the note has gone. Eve sighs with relief and some disappointment. She knows it’s for the best.

[ _Click to go to next section_ ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26268673/chapters/63947206)


	4. Chapter 4

Sunday arrives quickly. Three o’clock in the afternoon. Eve knows Villanelle waits at the ballroom, eager and anxious. She feels the break in Villanelle’s heart. It takes all of her resolve not to run across the city to meet her. Instead, she pulls on sweatpants and an old t-shirt and leaves to jog through the local park. She doesn’t miss the symbolism. Running around in a big empty circle. No one behind her, trying to reach her. No one in front of her, hoping to be caught. No one beside her, teasing her softly. She runs faster so she doesn’t cry. _Pretty athletic when you choose_. Fuck. 

Later that evening, she makes herself dinner, reheating yesterday’s leftovers in the microwave. She turns on the TV, but she can’t find anything she wants to watch. She tries to read but loses focus and reads the same page over and over. She can’t stop thinking of Villanelle. She wishes she had gone to meet her. No, she doesn’t. Yes, she does. No. Yes. Maybe? Fuck. The doorbell rings.

Villanelle stands there, another year older. Even more beautiful than before. Eve invites her in. Villanelle takes off her shoes and leaves them by the door. History behind them. Longing between them, for a present and future that Eve has refused. Eve wants to hold her. She wants to consume her. She offers her dinner instead. They eat politely. Eve walks to the sink to get some water and her mind wanders to other kitchens, other nights. Villanelle steps up close behind her, breath warm against Eve’s neck. No knife. No touching. But longing and sadness do their own damage, find Eve’s edges, just as surely, just as sharp.

“You didn’t show up.”

“I know.”

“Why?”

Eve doesn’t reply.

“I had been practicing my dance moves, Eve. Perfecting my rhythm just for you.”

Eve stares at the kitchen wall.

“Can we dance here?”

Eve turns. They sway awkwardly without music.

“I miss you, Eve.” _Don’t say it, don’t say it_.

Eve leans against Villanelle’s shoulder.

It surprises her, always. Villanelle’s body. The way it is solid. Not ethereal. Not fantasy. The way it is soft. Not monster. Not machine. She feels Villanelle’s unsteady breathing, chest moving against her own. She wants her even more than the last time. Promise builds as they move.

“I let you go, Eve. I’ll do it again. Just tell me that it’s still what you want.”

What does Eve do?

[ _Tells Villanelle that she wants her to stay_](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26268673/chapters/63947218)

[_Tells Villanelle that she wants her to leave_](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26268673/chapters/63947230)


	5. Chapter 5

_I want you to stay_. The words take shape in Eve’s mind, but she cannot say them. Not yet. They lodge in her throat like bullet in bone. She softly touches Villanelle’s face. Urges her to read her mind.

“No, Eve. You have to say it. You have said ‘no’ too many times.”

Eve groans. Exasperated by her own stubbornness. 

“I don’t know why I’m like this, Vil.”

“What are you scared of?”

Eve tips back her head. Stares at the ceiling. “I don’t know. Myself?” She laughs shortly, although she’s not joking. “The things that I think of? The things that I want? It’s so wrong. _I’m_ so wrong.”

“Look at me, Eve.”

They stand close, no longer moving. Eye contact almost painful. Too much honesty. Too much at stake.

“All that you are, Eve? I want it, okay? The things you are proud of. The things you despise. Every piece of you. I will give it a home.”

_Home._

Eve aches. All of her losses. All of her longing. 

“Ask me, Eve. You know I’ll say yes.” Villanelle’s eyes are wide with terror. She stands again at the edge of this cliff.

Eve remembers asking her once. A restaurant in Moscow. A gun in her hand. _Come with me. Just you and me_. _Please._ It’s different now. She’s empty-handed. She could stay empty for years.

“Villanelle? Will you stay? I want you to stay.”

“Yes.”

They kiss in the kitchen. Fated and chosen. Familiar and new. Eve wonders if they’ve been kissing for lifetimes. Villanelle breaks away first.

“I’ve waited so long, Eve. Take me to bed.”

Eve does.

[ _Click here to go to the next section_ ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26268673/chapters/63947596)


	6. Chapter 6

Eve steps back. As if space will make this easier.

“I can’t.” Villanelle’s face crumples, even as she tries to hide it. “When I’m with you I feel too much. I – ”

Villanelle stops her.

“You don’t have to explain. Leaving you is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. And I’ll do it forever, for you.”

She kisses Eve softly on the forehead, then turns her back and leaves.

Time passes. Eve misses Villanelle more than ever. She thinks she has made a mistake. She tries to search for her, but there are no traces. She hopes Villanelle will break her word and show up somewhere, at home perhaps, or maybe at work. Eve looks for her daily on the bus. Months pass. Seasons change. Eve drinks too much wine and screams for Villanelle into the night. She never comes.

It’s almost been a year since Eve saw her, but the memories burn like fire in autumn, always pulling her to the past. She doesn’t think about the future. The future is empty without Villanelle. It’s okay. Eve lives day to day. On one of those days she returns from work and finds flowers on her doorstep, a note slipped between the stems. Eve knows the handwriting as soon as she looks. _Happy birthday Eve. Meet me on Sunday for one more dance?_

What does Eve do?

[ _Throws the invitation away_ ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26268673/chapters/63947194)

[ _Keeps the invitation as a memento but doesn’t meet Villanelle_ ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26268673/chapters/63947248)

[ _Decides to meet Villanelle on Sunday_ ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26268673/chapters/63947257)


	7. Chapter 7

Eve goes inside and puts the flowers in water. She breathes in the perfume sprayed on the invitation and traces her fingers over the letters. She moves to the bedroom. There’s a small box by the side of her bed holding some of Villanelle’s gifts. The build-a-bear’s heart with the voice recording; an old tube of lipstick with the blade intact; a card that says “sorry baby”; a half empty bottle of perfume. Eve won’t let herself meet Villanelle, but she will let herself have this, at least. A fantasy anchored in silly mementos. Some kind of comfort, some kind of hurt. Eve lies back, lost in the memories, letting the thoughts consume her whole. She slides her hand into her underwear, slow for a moment and then moving quicker. The sound of a voice, the smell of a body, the trace of a hand that stroked and killed. It’s better than nothing. It’s never enough. Eve comes calling Villanelle’s name.

[ _Click here to go to next section_ ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26268673/chapters/63947206)


	8. Chapter 8

Eve walks into the ballroom. Villanelle is seated near the dancefloor. Their table? Eve says “hi.” Her bottom lip trembles.

“Aren’t you going to ask me to dance?” Villanelle doesn’t waste time. “Encourage me to try new things?”

They step into each other’s arms. Still awkward. Will this ever stop feeling new? They dance together, swaying shyly. The music fades. The world recedes. They could be the only ones here, their personal bubble, the only two people in the world.

“I stopped it, Eve. All of the killing.”

“Do you miss it?”

“I just miss you.”

Eve leans on Villanelle’s shoulder.

“I miss you too. Very much.”

Villanelle’s body. Solid. Living. Pressing against her. It’s there on her shoulder. In her hand. Against her breasts. By her hair. Eve is dizzy. She leans in closer. Sighs softly. Promise builds as they move.

“I let you go, Eve. I’ll do it again. Just tell me that it’s still what you want.”

What does Eve do?

[ _Tells Villanelle that she wants her to stay_ ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26268673/chapters/63947278)

[ _Tells Villanelle that she wants her to leave_ ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26268673/chapters/63947230)


	9. Chapter 9

Eve leads Villanelle back to the table. She needs space to say this.

“You. I just want you.”

“You do?” It is barely a whisper.

“You’re all I think of. What we were. What we did.” Eve runs her thumb along Villanelle’s cheekbone.

“I ruined you, Eve.”

“I know.”

Eve moves her hand to Villanelle’s neck, stroking softly. “I think of what we could be.”

“Kiss me, Eve.”

Eve lets go of all that she’s lost, all that’s unknowable, past and future. All that is certain is now. She moans softly on Villanelle’s lips. Now tastes good.

Breathing quickens. Eve grips Villanelle’s jacket. Villanelle touches Eve’s thigh. Eve leans closer, across the table. Villanelle pulls away.

“I like it here. We should come back. But I’ve waited so long, Eve. I need you to take me to home.”

Eve does.

[ _Click here to go to next section_ ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26268673/chapters/63947596)


	10. Chapter 10

It takes a moment for Eve to move, to force her body into footsteps. But she does. She walks. In two minutes, she’ll exit the bridge. Fifteen minutes to Tower Hill station. An hour until she’s back in New Malden. Normality. Safety. No Villanelle.

_If that’s what you really want, it’s not difficult._

That conversation. Romance and monsters? Eve cringes. At least she said something. Asked for help. She didn’t mean this. The wind picks up. Eve doesn’t notice. Too distracted. Unsettled. Unreal. The press of Villanelle’s back against hers, weighted with sorrow. A hint of protection. A promise of rest. This isn’t over. It cannot be over.

Once, Eve wanted to walk away. Villanelle shot her. She wonders if that could happen again. Eve turns her back in safety now. They could kiss and close their eyes. Different possibilities open. Possibilities are not guarantees. Villanelle is offering freedom. Villanelle is showing love. Eve can rationalize either decision. Reasons to leave and reasons to stay. There’s something other than reason too, tugging her firmly, connecting them like a red thread of fate. Eve could let it pull her closer. Or she could break it. It’s up to her. It’s all about choices. Choices within a world of constraint. Eve turns.

She walks back and meets Villanelle in the middle of the bridge. She reaches down and takes her hand.

“Eve?” Villanelle’s voice is shaking. “What are you doing?”

What does Eve do?

[ _Eve kisses Villanelle_ ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26268673/chapters/63947317)

[ _Eve asks Villanelle to help her fight the twelve_ ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26268673/chapters/63947368)


	11. Chapter 11

Eve touches Villanelle’s cheek.

“I’m doing this.”

The kiss is different. Soft and certain. Eyes closed. Mouth open. The smell of perfume. The taste of candy. Things that linger after they’re used. Eve feels tears against her cheek. Villanelle’s? Hers? Hands glide over fabric. Bodies stir and not in anger. Eve suddenly pulls away.

“Eve?” Villanelle panics. “What are you doing?”

What does Eve do?

[ _She tells Villanelle that she wants her_ ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26268673/chapters/63947344)

[ _She tells Villanelle goodbye_ ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26268673/chapters/63947356)


	12. Chapter 12

Eve steps back. She needs space to say this.

“I want it, Villanelle. All of it. All of you. I want it now. I want it tomorrow. And I don’t know if we’ll live past tomorrow, but if we do – ” Eve trails off, remembering the risks they’ve taken, realizing the dangers they face.

“You want the future to look like me?”

Villanelle quirks her eyebrows. Eve laughs. Laughing is good.

“Something like that. Yes.”

They kiss again, reckless now. Eve tugs at Villanelle’s coat. She feels fingers rake though her hair. She pulls them closer, leaning back against the railings. This time Villanelle breaks away first.

“Come on, Eve. Let’s get a room. I really need to have sex with you.”

[ _Click here to go to next section_ ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26268673/chapters/63947596)


	13. Chapter 13

Eve steps back. She needs space to say this.

“You are so many beautiful things. I wish this could be different.”

Villanelle freezes.

“You are leaving?”

“Goodbye, Villanelle.”

Eve turns around, blinking back tears, and leaves.

[ _Click here to go to next section_ ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26268673/chapters/63947182)


	14. Chapter 14

Eve stares at Villanelle. Beautiful face. Brilliant mind. “I need your help to fight the twelve or neither of us will be safe.”

If Villanelle had hoped for more, she doesn’t show it. “What about Carolyn? Quit cold turkey?”

“We shouldn’t listen to her. She might run the twelve for all we know.”

We. Us. Both together. Villanelle wants it more than anything. She makes one more attempt to deter Eve. “What about your monster and my monster?” It sounds more suggestive than she intended.

“Whatever.” Eve shrugs her shoulders. “We’ll figure it out, I’m sure.”

They exit the bridge and walk quickly along the river.

“We can’t go to my hotel, okay? We need somewhere safe for tonight.” Villanelle stops outside of a non-descript three-star hotel. “This place will do.”

Eve sits in the lobby, exhausted. Villanelle talks to the receptionist, pays with cash, and gives Eve a keycard. They bump shoulders in the narrow hallway. The room is ridiculously small.

“They didn’t have one with two beds.” Villanelle sounds embarrassed.

“It’s fine. Whatever. God, I’m tired.”

Eve throws her jacket over the chair. She kicks off her shoes. She undoes her jeans. Villanelle disappears to the bathroom. When she returns, the light is off. Eve is already under the covers, back turned, facing the wall. Villanelle crawls in next to her, careful to keep a space between them. She can do this. Help Eve defeat the twelve. Partners in crime, if not in bed. They are in bed, though. Eve is here. She stares at Eve, her hair, her neck, a shoulder not quite covered. Her scar is visible under her tank top. “Eve,” she whispers. No reply. “Eve?”

What does Eve do?

[ _Snores lightly: She is asleep_ ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26268673/chapters/63947389)

[ _Answers Villanelle: “What?”_ ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26268673/chapters/63947443)


	15. Chapter 15

Eve snores lightly. She rolls from her side onto her back, flinging an arm onto Villanelle’s hip. Its weight and placement are very distracting. If Villanelle moved just a little, tilted her hips – No. Villanelle scoots backwards and lowers Eve’s hand onto the mattress. She stares at it for far too long. The hangnails, the veins, the knuckles. God those knuckles. She screws up her eyes and tries to sleep.

Eve wakes first. The shock of daylight. The shock of her body, under blankets, cuddled tight around Villanelle. Eve’s head is on her pillow. Eve’s arm is over her waist. Knees pressed into the back of her thighs. For a split second, Eve thinks that they fucked. No, she only dreamed that they fucked. And while she dreamed, she spooned Villanelle? Shit. Her fingers dip into Villanelle’s navel. She should move. She doesn’t move. She shuts her eyes and pictures her fingers, sliding down, to touch this woman as she touches herself.

A sudden movement. Eve freezes. Villanelle’s hand covers hers. Bed-warm. Silent. Still. A thumb brushes over Eve’s knuckles, framing joints in small tight circles.

“Vil?”

“Shh, I’m sleeping.” The slightest pressure on the back of Eve’s hand.

“Mmm. Me too.”

They breathe together. Chests rising. Villanelle explores Eve’s fingers. Minds in synch in phony sleep. Desire buzzes between their bodies, trapped beneath the heavy covers.

Villanelle’s hand moves lower. Eve’s follows. Over stomach, under waistband, through a patch of wiry hair.

“Dream with me, Eve.”

Dreams are easy. No consequence. No restraint. Eve make-believes that she is sleeping as she sinks into Villanelle’s wetness. Eve make-believes that she is masturbating after a dream of Villanelle. Eve make-believes that she is Villanelle, masturbating over Eve, as Villanelle rocks against Eve’s hand. Lines blurring. Bodies melding. Fantasy freedoms. Sex for real.

“What do you dream of?” Eve speaks, awake and present. Villanelle is scared to break the spell. “Tell me. Please.” Eve presses fingers firmer, small tight circles of their own.

“Fuck Eve. Just like that. I dream of you. Always you. I dream of us –”

A loud crash.

“What the fuck?”

Someone is trying to kick down the door.

[ _Click here to go to next section_ ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26268673/chapters/63947398)


	16. Chapter 16

What happens next, happens quickly. Villanelle pushes Eve off the bed and springs to her feet. A young man in a dark blue tracksuit enters the room holding a knife.

“Payback, Oksana.”

Villanelle rushes the man and grabs his wrist, twisting sharply. The knife falls. He recovers quickly and punches her face. Her nose bleeds. She swings around and jumps on his back, applying a choke hold. He slams her body against the wall. She doesn’t let go. He does it again. They crash into furniture. Villanelle slips.

Eve sees the knife on the floor from under the bed. She crawls around and picks it up. Villanelle sees her and holds out a hand. With a weapon, she can finish this quickly. 

What does Eve do?

[ _Hands Villanelle the knife_ ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26268673/chapters/63947413)

[ _Keeps the knife and attacks the man_ ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26268673/chapters/63947428)


	17. Chapter 17

Villanelle takes the knife from Eve. The short handle is slick with sweat. The would-be assassin must have been nervous. Too bad. She grabs his hair and yanks it backward. She drags the blade across his throat. Blood spurts. He falls to his knees and then on his side. It’s over quickly. Eve stands near Villanelle.

“Are you okay? I know you don’t want to kill anymore.”

“You are here. It is different.”

“You killed him for me?” Eve’s voice is low and inviting. She reaches down for Villanelle’s hand and presses the palm against her cheek. Bloody fingerprints in the making.

“I killed him for us.” Villanelle drags out the “us,” loving the feel of the word in her mouth.

Eve kisses the blood on Villanelle’s fingers. “So romantic. How can I thank you?” Taunting and honest. Wanting it all.

“Eve!” shrieks Villanelle. Fake outrage. Authentic delight. “Does this excite you?”

The blood is warm. It tastes of copper. “Nope. No feelings. None at all.” Truth and lies. “Give me the knife.”

Eve holds it at the hem of Villanelle’s tank top. Villanelle nods. Eve slices clean through fabric.

“Payback, Oksana.”

Villanelle smiles wildly. This time, Eve does not disappoint.

[ _Click here to go to next section_ ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26268673/chapters/63947596)


	18. Chapter 18

Eve ignores Villanelle and attacks the man before he sees her. She stabs the knife in the side of his throat. Crunchy and clammy. Nothing like stabbing her Villanelle. He staggers sideways clutching at blood, seeping through fingers.

“Pull it out, Eve.”

She already has. He falls to the ground and jerks around in bloody pools. It takes longer than Eve expected. Villanelle holds her hand. They watch him die, like watching a movie.

Show’s over.

“You did that for me?”

Eve laughs shortly. “You said you didn’t want to do it anymore.”

“What about you?”

Eve looks at the body. She looks at her hands. Bloody and steady. She shudders slightly. “I won’t say I loved it. But I guess I’m okay.”

“Fuck baby, I owe you big time.”

Eve takes a few steps back, pulling Villanelle towards the bed. “You could pay me back now, you know.”

“Eve!” screams Villanelle. Fake outrage. Authentic delight. One hand already on Eve’s shoulder. A knee already between Eve’s thighs. “Did that turn you on?”

“You turned me on. He interrupted. And like you said, you owe me big time.”

Villanelle takes the knife. Eve nods. It slices clean through Eve’s shirt.

“Payback, Eve.” Eve laughs, smiling wildly. Villanelle does not disappoint.

[ _Click here to go to next section_ ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26268673/chapters/63947596)


	19. Chapter 19

Eve doesn’t move, not right away.

“What?”

“Can I touch it?” Eve knows what she means. No one has touched her scar except doctors. No one has offered. No one has asked. And now the person who did the damage is curled behind her, half-undressed, asking nicely. “Please, Eve. I’ll be careful.” What the fuck?

“Okay, fine.”

A surgical scar. It’s nothing like the shape of a bullet. Villanelle’s touch is feather light, as if she’s scared that she’ll rip it open and blood will spill onto the mattress and it will be Paris all over again. Eve shivers.

“It tickles.”

“Did you think you were going to die?”

“Yes.”

“Me too.” Villanelle’s voice cracks. She buries her face in the back of Eve’s neck. Her breath is warm. Her lips are close.

“You can kiss it, if you want.”

“Like that?” The kiss is chaste.

“I don’t know. I can’t feel it there. It hurts deeper down sometimes, but the skin is pretty numb.” Eve doesn’t speak of this either. Another first. With Villanelle, the one who hurt her, the one who hears her, the only one who –

“What about this?” Villanelle sucks carefully. She pulls the scar between her lips. “Does that feel good?” She widens her mouth and sucks harder, dragging sensations out of Eve’s skin.

Feelings flood. Eve gasps. “Yeah, like that.”

Villanelle sucks harder still. More urgent, more insistent. She uses teeth without thinking. Flicks her tongue.

“Oh god, yes.” Eve pushes her ass into Villanelle’s lap, curled behind her. “Shit, I’m sorry, oh god, I’m sorry, I need, I didn’t – ”

Villanelle grabs Eve’s waist and pulls her close. “I got you, okay?” She grinds her hips against Eve’s ass. Once. Twice. “Let me. Please.”

“Fuck, Vil. Yes.”

They move together, messy and desperate. Villanelle shifts lower in bed and it’s less like rocking and more like fucking as she pushes and grinds up into Eve. Eve grabs her hand and pulls it lower. “Jesus Christ, please, I need – ”

A loud crash.

“What was that?”

Someone is trying to kick down the door.

[ _Click here to go to next section_ ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26268673/chapters/63947398)


	20. Chapter 20

Eve is furious. She grabs Villanelle’s arm and spins her around. They stand face to face.

“What the fuck? I ask for help and you walk away?”

“It’s for the for best, Eve. You know that. I make it worse. I make _you_ worse.”

Fuck, she can be condescending. Eve feels her anger grow.

“This is best? Jesus Christ! Stay and help me, you little prick. I don’t care if you make it worse. I don’t care if it kills us. We’re in this together. Don’t walk away.”

Villanelle can’t believe her luck. She loves it when Eve is angry. Very sexy. Dangerous too. And this time Eve wants to stay! She hopes Eve will rage a little longer. And then Villanelle will reassure her and promise to help her, and they’ll get a hotel room and –

Villanelle’s plans are interrupted. A young man wearing a dark blue track suit walks onto the bridge toward them. She recognizes him from visiting Helene.

“Eve,” she says. “Our party’s been crashed. The twelve are coming. Right now.”

What does Eve do?

[ _Decides to run_ ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26268673/chapters/63947479)

[ _Decides to jump_ ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26268673/chapters/63947533)

[ _Decides to die with Villanelle in a blaze of glory_ ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26268673/chapters/63947545)


	21. Chapter 21

Eve grabs Villanelle’s hand and runs. They flee south over the bridge. Eve glances behind to see the man pull out a gun. Fuck, no. She’s not going to get shot tonight. Luckily, the assassin has terrible aim. (Don’t they always?) Bullets fly past, ricocheting off the bridge. A motorbike approaches. Villanelle jumps in its path, causing it to swerve and crash. Eve pulls the rider off and gets in his place. Villanelle climbs behind. Eve speeds the bike toward the south bank. The motor thrums between her legs.

“I guess you’re leading after all.” Villanelle leans forward, arms wrapped tight around Eve’s waist. “Take the next right and pull over.”

They leave the bike and run down an alleyway, then another, stopping at the back entrance of a three-star hotel.

“In here. Just for tonight.”

\---

The hotel room is small but sufficient. Eve paces, adrenaline pumping.

“The bike, Eve! That was amazing.”

“Surprised I can ride?”

“Uh, yes.” Villanelle huffs comically, then lowers her eyes, almost mumbling. “You always surprise me.”

Eve stops pacing. Her eyes travel over Villanelle’s body. She laughs to herself, as if she’s remembered the dirty punchline to an inside joke.

“Want to watch me ride some more?” She raises her eyebrow, smirking.

“Eve! You’re being very forward.”

“I’m 43, not a virgin.”

Villanelle sits in a chair by the desk. She puffs out her cheeks. Exhales loudly. Spins around. Okay then. They’re going to do this.

“Undress for me, Eve.”

Her jacket and shirt come off easily. Eve winces as she tries to undo her bra. “Help me with this. Some asshole fucked up my shoulder.”

“You want to kill them?” Villanelle undoes the clasp.

“You have no idea.”

“Take off the rest and get on the bed.”

Eve does. She waits for Villanelle to join her. Villanelle doesn’t move.

“Touch yourself. I want to watch.”

“Seriously?”

“You’re 43, Eve. Not a virgin. I want to watch.”

[ _Click here to go to next section_ ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26268673/chapters/63947503)


	22. Chapter 22

Eve scoffs. She’s never been one to turn down a dare. “Hmm, who should I think of?”

“Quit stalling.”

Eve lies back on the bed, her head on a pile of hotel pillows. Try new things? It’s not like she doesn’t know what to do. She moves her hand between her legs.

“Open your eyes. I don’t want you to forget that I’m watching.”

“Hmm, yeah, I might forget.” Eve opens her eyes. Villanelle walks to the end of the bed.

“Don’t stop until I tell you.”

Villanelle watches. Eve moves. She brings her other hand to her breast.

“Harder, Eve.” Eve groans. “Louder, Eve.” She does as she’s told.

“Who have you fucked? Thinking of me?”

“What?” Eve shakes her head. “I don’t want to – ”

“Look at me.” Villanelle’s eyes are focused. Dead serious. “Tell me.”

“Niko.”

“Yes.”

“Hugo.”

“Hmm.”

Eve flushes.

“Who else, Eve? Don’t lie.”

Her voice is commanding. Eve is desperate. She moves her hand faster. She rocks her hips. This won’t take long.

“What was her name, Eve?”

Shit. How does Villanelle know about this? Eve doesn’t want the distraction, but Villanelle won’t let it drop.

“I don’t remember. I was too drunk.”

“But not too drunk to make her come?”

“No, I – shit, please, not now, okay, I want to – ”

Villanelle leans down and grabs Eve’s hand. She pulls it upward, above her head. “Not yet.”

“Jesus Christ. I’m going to kill you.” 

Villanelle kneels on the bed. She settles in between Eve’s legs. 

“Tell me how you fucked her, Eve. And I might do the same to you.”

“I hate you.”

“Hmm, I know. I hate you too.” Villanelle places a hand on Eve’s knee. “So? I’m waiting. What did you do?”

“Kenny was dead, okay? You were nowhere. I needed… something.” Eve gives explanations that were not asked for. Villanelle pays it no mind. Just waits.

“We fucked, okay? I went to her place. I fucked her. That’s it.” Villanelle’s hand moves down Eve’s inner thigh, coming to rest near pubic hair. Featherlight. Barely touching.

“Details, Eve. What did you use?”

“My hand. Christ. You think I carry a dildo in my handbag?”

Villanelle considers it. Shrugs. “Maybe you should. Tell me what you did with your hand.” Eve hesitates. She doesn’t know what Villanelle means.

“Should I show you? I can be helpful.”

Villanelle slips a finger inside of Eve. Just the tip. Hardly there. She feigns detachment as Eve groans. “Did you do this? Nice and gentle?”

“Fuck Villanelle. Please.” Eve grabs her wrist and tries to pull her fingers deeper. Villanelle holds steady, smirking.

“Answer first. Is this what you did?”

“No. I didn’t fuck her like this. What even is this shit?”

“So testy.” Villanelle teases. “Maybe like this?”

She pushes two fingers into Eve. Eve tries to keep her voice steady. “Uh-huh. Sure. Like that.”

“What about this?” Villanelle wraps her arm under Eve’s ass and lifts her up to change the angle. “Did you do this?” She presses in deeper, twisting her fingers. She watches the way Eve’s body responds. Circles a thumb over her clit. “Did you think about her pleasure? Try to make her feel good?”

Eve doesn’t answer, she will not answer, because fuck, Villanelle knows what she’s doing, and when was the last time she – 

Villanelle stops.

“I asked a question.” 

“Jesus Christ. Fine. Okay. I didn’t think about her pleasure or whatever. I didn’t think about her at all. I was rough and messy and lonely and angry. I was so fucking angry that she wasn’t you and I fucked her hard and I wanted to hurt her and oh jesus christ – ”

Eve’s words act like a trigger. Villanelle is moving again and fucking her hard and saying words that Eve doesn’t know or doesn’t hear or doesn’t care because she is not stopping and they are not stopping and something that has taken them months, has taken them lifetimes, now takes moments.

A red thread of fate tightens, tightens – 

“Fuck, Vil, I’m gonna – ”

Villanelle kisses Eve as she comes. Fated. Chosen. Hers.

[_Click here to go to next section_](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26268673/chapters/63947596)


	23. Chapter 23

Eve grabs Villanelle’s hand. “We need to jump.”

“I know I said you were athletic, but I don’t think you’re that athletic.” Villanelle scans the traffic looking for a way to escape.

“Fuck you.”

The assassin gets closer and pulls out a gun.

“Okay, fine. We jump.”

“Do you think it will kill us?”

“We’ll die together. Romantic, huh?”

“Yes.”

Together they scramble over the barrier. Eve grabs her hand and they jump.

[ _Click here to go to next section_ ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26268673/chapters/63947554)


	24. Chapter 24

Eve grabs Villanelle’s jacket. She knows there’s no way they can escape.

“I always knew it would end like this.”

“Don’t be stupid, Eve. We’re not dying before we have sex.”

Eve’s eyes are wide. Her pupils blown. She pulls Villanelle close. “Kiss me.”

“No!”

Eve doesn’t listen. She presses her lips to Villanelle’s. The assassin pulls out a gun.

“Eve!” Villanelle pushes her roughly. “Later, okay? We need to jump.”

“You said that would kill me.”

“Then we die together. Romantic, huh?”

“Yes.”

Together they scramble over the barrier. Eve grabs her hand and they jump.

[ _Click here to go to next section_ ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26268673/chapters/63947554)


	25. Chapter 25

The fall doesn’t kill them. The river might. They drop deep into murky waters, quickly losing each other’s hand. It’s too dark to see and Eve sinks further, weighed down by her stupid parka. She shrugs it off and kicks upward, breaking the surface and gasping for air. The current is strong and drags her downriver. She struggles to stay afloat. Where the fuck is Villanelle? Eve hears her before she sees her, under the bridge screaming Eve’s name. A tour boat passes. A spotlight shines. The Thames rescue boat appears.

They endure a long lecture from the river police. Eve blames it on a you tube video and then calls Carolyn. In under an hour, they are released. They walk a short distance to a non-descript three-star hotel, still wearing soaking wet clothes. “This will do. Just for tonight.”

\---

The hotel room is small but sufficient. Eve turns up the clunky heater. Her teeth chatter.

“You should get out of those clothes, Eve.”

“I need your help.”

“Twice in one night?”

“I bet you can manage more than twice.”

Villanelle helps Eve out of her shirt. It’s wet and heavy. Stuck to skin.

“Eve, you’re being very forward.”

“And yet you haven’t removed all my clothes.”

Villanelle swallows. Puff up her cheeks. Exhales loudly. Okay then. They’re going to do this. She steps behind to undo Eve’s bra. She sees her shoulder.

“Did you think you were going to die?” Eve knows she doesn’t mean in the river.

“Did you?”

“No.”

“Liar.”

Eve unbuttons her wet jeans and wriggles them down. She sits on the bed and gestures for Villanelle to pull them off.

“I want to see yours too.”

Villanelle stands to take off her shirt. Her trousers too. Eve stares. So much skin. Skin she has damaged. Skin she has scarred.

“Touch it, Eve.”

Villanelle’s scar is smaller than Eve imagined. So much blood from a little wound. Eve trails her finger over the ridge.

“Does it hurt?”

“No.”

“What about this?” Eve pushes. Villanelle inhales sharply. It has nothing to do with pain. She shakes her head.

“This?” Eve uses her fingernail.

“Do you want to hurt me, Eve?”

Eve stops, caught off-guard. “I don’t know.”

“You can, okay? I like it sometimes. I’d like it very much with you.”

What does Eve do?

[ _Tells Villanelle she wants to hurt her_ ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26268673/chapters/63947572)

[ _Tells Villanelle she wants to be gentle_ ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26268673/chapters/63947587)


	26. Chapter 26

Eve swallows. She makes up her mind.

“How would you like it?”

Villanelle takes off the rest of her clothes.

“Hurt me like the woman who stabbed me.” She brings Eve’s hand back to her scar. “Romantic stuff. Hurt me like the woman I shot.”

Eve doesn’t need more instruction. She pinches the scar until Villanelle groans.

“I like that sound.”

“I have more.”

Eve finds them. She presses into day-old bruises. She pulls sharply on river wet hair. She sinks her teeth into Villanelle’s shoulder and thinks of pulling flesh from bone. It’s not controlled – it’s never controlled – but Villanelle rises up to meet her, to make a space for Eve to let go. Monsters, playing.

“More, Eve. Shit.”

Eve wonders about limitations. Hers. Villanelle’s. Bites are child’s play. Bruises fade. Scratches barely break the skin. Eve pushes Villanelle backward, one hand pressing down on her breastbone. A flash of killing. Blood. Tears. Only fluid. It’s not enough. Eve slaps her. Once, twice. Too much?

“Don’t stop.”

Eve grabs her jaw and twists.

“I want to fuck you.”

“Show me how you killed Dasha.”

Eve freezes.

“You don’t want to?”

“No. Yes. Get on the ground.”

Villanelle squirms on the hotel carpet. Her hips rock. She can’t keep still. Eve slips on her shoes.

“Right here.” She presses her foot against Villanelle’s chest, rushing at the memory of power. She leans down heavily. Eve could crush her, bones cracking.

“Jesus, Eve, you’re fucking perfect.”

Eve drags her foot down Villanelle’s stomach, pressing hard between her legs.

“Roll over. I want you on your hands and knees.”

No more waiting. Eve kneels and stares from behind. Dark. Wet. Powerful. Vulnerable.

“Beautiful, huh?” Villanelle preens.

“Mine.”

Eve’s hand moves from spine to tailbone, sliding lower. Her finger glances over Villanelle’s asshole. Villanelle gasps. Eve pauses.

“You like that.” It’s not a question. Eve lingers, circling fingers, pressing firmly. “I’ll make you like it with me.”

“Please, Eve.” Eve doesn’t know what Villanelle’s asking. She doesn’t care.

Her ass can wait. Eve moves her hand lower. Villanelle’s wetness. Eve has no interest in taking this slow. She pushes fingers inside Villanelle. Fated and chosen. Familiar and new. Villanelle gasps and grinds backward, moving greedily. Eve meets her, twisting, curling, hips slamming against her own hand. They move together, messy, desperate, finding a rhythm, losing it, finding it, picking up speed. Villanelle collapses onto her forearms, Eve presses her face to the floor.

“Fuck, Eve, fuck, please I need – ”

Eve knows. She always knows. Her other hand moves to where Villanelle wants it, taking control. And something that has taken them months, has taken them lifetimes, now takes moments. A red thread of fate tightens, tightens –

“Fuck, Eve, I’m gonna – ”

Villanelle’s orgasm hits them both – a speeding bullet – and Eve feels it in her shoulder blades, in her fingertips, in her thighs, as if it’s her own.

[ _Click here to go to next section_ ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26268673/chapters/63947596)


	27. Chapter 27

Eve swallows. “I’ve hurt you enough. You’ve hurt me. I want something different.”

“Try new things?”

“Dancing was good.”

“Dance with me now.” Villanelle pulls Eve close, presses a thigh between her legs. No music. No clothing. This is not dancing.

“You move better when you’re naked.”

“You are flirtier than I expected.”

“I’m 43, not a virgin.”

Villanelle steps back. “Eve, can I watch you?”

“Watch me what?”

“Touch yourself. On the bed.”

“Seriously?”

“You’re 43, Eve. Not a virgin. And I want to watch.”

[ _Click here to go to next section_ ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26268673/chapters/63947503)


	28. Chapter 28

So many choices. So many pathways. Somehow, they always end here. Together. In bed. Fucking, in love.

Fate? Choice? A happy ending? Define happy. Define ending. Define choice in the context of loss. Eve has someone to hold her in chaos. A way to feel whole as she shatters, struggling to know what it means to rebuild. Something to make the hope – and the horror – of living and longing and killing and dying almost, mostly, feel worthwhile.

“You, Villanelle. I’ll always choose you.”

For better or worse. She does.

THE END

[ _Click here to return to beginning of story and make different choices_ ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26268673/chapters/63947158)


End file.
